The Simp Who Paid for Xmas
Social Media Stars

The Simp Who Paid for Xmas

Person Silver
Power
5
Cost
9
Arrival: Deal 4 damage to Random enemy unit
"All she wanted was a wishlist. He gave her the North Pole."
The Simp Who Paid for Xmas (Simon) has spent approximately $50,000 on OnlyFans subscriptions thinking he's in real relationships. He calls them girlfriends, they call him "payment declined." His credit score is lower than his self-esteem, which shouldn't be mathematically possible. Simon comments "you're perfect, queen" on every post, sends good morning texts to women who have him muted, and genu...
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